


Let My Guard Down

by Addict_to_Fanfic



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Oblivious, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26984563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Addict_to_Fanfic/pseuds/Addict_to_Fanfic
Summary: While Lena and Kara have forgiven each other after teaming up to defeat Leviathan, their friendship has never recovered.  Lena is still heartbroken as, for her, the friendship was always more.Or: Lena is crumbling and only an accident/kismet can bind them back together.Or: One way to make Supercorp canon
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 9
Kudos: 192





	Let My Guard Down

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place at the end of Season 5, loosely inspired by Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi. Please be gentle as this is my first fanfic (and an unedited flow of words in one sitting at that).

Lena can’t quite pinpoint the moment she let her guard down. Was it the innocuous stuttering of their first meeting? The sweet befuddlement of bright blue eyes when she tried to explain quantum entanglement? Or was it as banal as one of the many times she had been saved from certain death? Whatever point it was, Lena wished she could go back in time and strengthen her cool stone buttresses against the onslaught of warmth that was Kara Danvers.

She had been perfectly fine, all of her little boxes perfectly ordered in the hollows of her mind. She was positioned with the security of wealth and power to ensure that she would succeed in doing good in the world, a counterpoint to the horrors her family had inflicted. L-Corp had been rebranded with the sharp, clean angles of her L, that of a new Legacy she wished to gift the world.

Lillian had been right about something. One could never truly be successful and world changing when anchored by the baggage of others, even that of love.

Unfortunately, Lena felt the downward tug of drowning in all that was left of their friendship. She had warmed her soul in the honeyed sunshine of Kara’s love, making the sudden jolt back into the cold waters of her life all the more frigid when she inevitably went back under.

Before, she had numbed herself to the loneliness, had embraced it even as a sharp tool of success. Now she was left with the relentless ache of feeling, a physical squeezing pain in her chest.

The last few months had been one long cycle of days seeping into night and back again. The sharp angles of her face had only been accentuated by skipped meals and the long nights of restless research in her lab. Gone were lunches and laughter on her traitorous couch mockingly reminding her of one memory or another. In their place, Lena had successfully moved her nanobots into phase 2 trials.

This night, as she sipped on a particularly smoky, peated scotch, the amber liquid eased her into a revelation that she was now someone in Kara’s past. Even as she knew that her own unrequited love still stretched out needily towards her sun, she was not too bold or deluded to feel it reflected back anymore.

That was made irrevocably clear, when her heart was shattered by the truth in Lex’s last breaths. She was faced with the understanding that she was never a contender for Kara’s heart. Despite the brunette’s devotion, the superhero had admitted all of their friends into her family of secrecy while Lena stood in the raging blizzard outside. Even now, the shards of what was left of her beating organ would intermittently slice her from within.

Nothing prompted the cuts like when Lena would run into the blonde. They had never recovered the intimacy of their friendship despite coming to forgiveness after defeating Leviathan. National City was not too big to prevent stunted morning run-ins at Noonan’s, awkward avoidance at the DEO, or occasional silence as Lena walked by Kara’s desk for a meeting with Andrea. It was made easier that Lena had dropped all of their friends along with Kara. Of course, they hadn’t reached out to her either which confirmed the flimsiness of their bonds.

Well into her fourth glass, the burn long gone, Lena’s eyes furrowed in the memory of it all. She decided that what she needed was a replacement. Someone to blunt her longing. Someone to have as hers. But someone who wouldn’t have the power to distract her from her work doing good. Someone who could stay outside her walls. 

Her fingers found their own rhythm texting a quick message to Andrea. The dark seductress had been hinting at a reunion and Lena knew it would be easy. No feelings, just mild distraction to shave down those shards still scratching from within. She didn’t bother to proof or think in the text, quickly throwing down the invitation and auto-filling Andrea’s contact. She tossed her phone onto the disloyal couch and walked towards the window to gaze out at the burning city lights. She heard a buzz shortly thereafter and hoped that she indicated the invitation was to her penthouse. Sighing softly, she decided that she was too tired to care after all. If Andrea understood her invitation as Lena intended, then good. If she didn’t, the scotch was close to pulling her under regardless.

As her mind began darkening further in the amber haze, she felt a warm breeze gust past her cheek and she felt more than saw the warm presence of red and blue. By the time she looked up, the locus of her pain had already changed into a cozy pink sweater hanging near the knees of her worn jeans.

“What are you doing here?” Lena whispered, half indignation and adoration.

The soft look in those crystal blue eyes furrowed into confusion. “Wh…I…I mean I got your text?,” her stuttering drifted off into question.

“What text…oh,” Oh, perfectly sculpted eyebrows trailed off looking off towards the phone still sitting barren on the couch.

The blonde’s look morphed further into hurt. “It...I...you didn’t mean to text me did you.”

For some reason, instead of engendering remorse in her mistake, the puppy dog eyes steeled Lena into fierce animosity which translated into hushed but deliberate ranting. “You have some nerve coming here! We haven’t talked in months and you think I would want to sleep with you?! How dare you take advantage of my loneliness, make me need you, pull my guards down, let me pour all my love into you, make me get used to being someone you loved and then take it all away!”

The ice-cold sharpness of her anger began thawing into tears half way through her rant and she moved to quickly hide her blotching face behind generous sleeves. 

A long silence followed, during which time she realized two things. One, that she had told Kara that she loved her and two, with a bit of a delay after, that the superhero had rushed here almost immediately at her seductive invitation.

Lena gathered herself with one last swipe of tears, before looking up. Kara was close and looking intently at her, a mixed look of sadness and want clouding those beautiful blue eyes. The blonde tipped her head forward to connect their foreheads. For a long moment, the cellophane of both sets of tears did nothing to filter the intensity of their locked gaze.

Finally, Kara broke the silence.

With a cracked voice, she uttered, “You could never be someone I used to love. You will always be the one I couldn’t bear to lose. You are the only future I ever dared to imagine.” After a pause and a sweep of blonde hair, she admitted, “And that’s why I lied to you for so long. I wanted to keep you forever. I rationalized it with the idea of keeping you safe, when really I needed to keep my own heart safe.” She swallowed, “Safe from the heartbreak of you ever finding out I was Supergirl and that knowledge being a deal breaker.”

The brunette sucked in a breath hovering between disbelief and shock.

“Lena, I am in love with you.” Her brows crinkled in earnest as she continued, “Tonight, when I got your text, I couldn’t believe it, but I could never give up the chance of being with you, even for just a hug. I’ve missed you so much.”

In that moment, she couldn’t help the constant gravity pulling between them and sunk into Kara’s arms. Dark hair tucked perfectly into the nexus of a strong neck and shoulder, just like it always had. She felt her walls coming down all over again and crumbling at her feet. When she finally pulled back, their faces were inches apart and her gaze fell to warm, pink lips. Looking up for permission and seeing love radiating from warm blue eyes, they soon fell into a slow, heated lock, lips exploring and then tongues reaching in to wrap around each other.

Lena was lost in the connection, forgoing breathing for more of Kara, hands beginning to wander. A soft knocking kept the rhythm of their movements until the knocking became pounding and a voice broke through their worship, “Lena? Are you here?”

Kara squinted through the door and raised her eyebrows as she looked back at Lena, still safely tucked in her arms. “Really Lena? Andrea?,” she questioned as she unamusedly raised her eyebrows.

“Group text snafu?,” the brunette demurely shrugged. Then she added with a sweet smile that morphed into a smirk, “I’m sure she’ll go away soon.”

Kara’s eyes scrunched as she growled, “We’ll talk about it later, but first…” She swept Lena in her strong arms, smile radiant, and flew them into the bedroom.

When Lena woke the next morning, cradled in a cocoon of warm arms and the clean scent of Kara, she thought about how lucky she was that she had gone all in, heartbreak and all. She supposed that letting her guard down, with this woman, was the best thing she had ever done.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to find me on tumblr: jhawk-jen  
> Though I don't have much on there yet


End file.
